that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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