but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
