i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
