i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
