She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
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So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
50% drunk capacity currently