They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.