I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize