Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
