I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
