If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
