okay pat passed out under dana's car
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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