What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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