well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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