i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize