I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
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That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
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we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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