Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
