Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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