just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
