I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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