Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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