How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She even gives head with a lisp.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
