sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
