You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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