Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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