some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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