so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
