I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
