I just cut my nipple shaving
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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