My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
