Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
