Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize