My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
