Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
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I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
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Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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