remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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