I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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