I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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