goodnight i made you a song goodbye
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
