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It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
