Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
