I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Randomize
