tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
you never un-have a 4some
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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