he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
