Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
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Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
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I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
All the doctor said was why
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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