I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
