She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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