You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
