Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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