my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You are a genius and a whore.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
