Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
