I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
