Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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