More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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