SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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