margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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