im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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