Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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