margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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