Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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